Winter's End

Ah, the pangs of a writer left too long without creative outlet. Consider this another attempt to dust the neglect of of the creative writing LJ: and this time, I really mean it. I hope.

The creative bug has been back and niggling again, and in a weird way I'm starting to feel frustrated with all these projects I start, but don't finish. Like, if the goal of writing is ultimately to be read (and yes, I can hear you all saying "writing should come from within! It's an art" - and to that I say "Pbbbt." I have a wholly separate rant on art for art's sake, but I like to think I have something interesting to say, and it's not doing anyone but me much good half-formed on my laptop) maybe I should, you know, be seeing these projects through if. At least to the point where I can pass them out to friends and post them to a webpage without (severe) embarassment.

Anyways, inspired in part by zhaneel69's fantastic series on becoming a writer (which you can get to using the links here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4), in part by an increased interest in getting my Nano Novel done (or at least to the first draft stage, so that I have completed *something* since my last creative writing course), I have decided to re-pick-up the torch. I hope that by tracking my projects here I will be better able to keep myself motivated, and not fall into the trap of "thinking about writing" when I actually could be doing it. I have tendency to map out a good story, start it, and then succumb to the overedit bug halfway through. By setting goals, I wish to avoid that.

( Onto the goals! )

So yes. I am insane. But at least at the end of this I will be insane and accomplished. Or so I can hope.

To the literary struggle!

As usual, nothing is as inspiring as a missed deadline. Fortunately, it appears that my muse and I have worked out the kinks, and tonight I have returned to my during-nano habit of spending 2 hours a night writing ~1,000 words.

Time: 1:45
Words: 1,347

It's a low count for what I used to do, but for the challenge I'd like to put a bit more emphasis on quality. For all the good it does me, at any rate.

Dear March -

You sneaky bastard you! And I haven't even finished outlining my February goals, much less accomplished them! Alas, I have signed up for NaNoEdmo anyways, though how much I do remains to be seen.

Next year, I am petitioning to swap you with June, just to make you as far from November as possible. In the meantime, be gentle. My muse is still recovering.

Love,

-Robin

Seiously: my goals for NaNoEdMo? Finish a challenge fic that was *supposed* to be a warmup (which took a month of brainstorming and is now barely an un-fleshed-out plot in need of writing), Finish Journey's End (that at least counts: I checked the rules), and edit it into something I can actually show to people a)have opinions and b) read english.

The jury's still out on whether or not it's OK to have my characters suddenly stop journeying and start spouting random fanfiction as per the challenge, but hey - the important part is I'm honing my craft, right? I can always cut it at the end, and consider it rejected editing. Yay for manufactured work.

"Being a writer" is about walking a tightrope strung between the twin pillars of what-the-readers-want and what-I-want-to-say, above the abyss of obscurity.

From a comment provided here. Thanks to zhaneel69 for pointing to the entry. I thought it was strangely accurate.

Well, the increase in free time has done good things for my muse and her ministrations. It certainly seems like I've got a lot on my plate, but as of late I've been plotting out a fanfiction for a challenge (and an ofshoot, because once you get her started she has a tendency to -erm- run with it, at least in the plotting stage), going over Journey's End (Nano project - I'll be surprised if I keep half), rereading a good book, and poking around various fic sites. This is a good thing.

I've missed my writing time.

Whoo! another 500 words done tonight. Go me! self-motivation did not work. I am now dangling a carrot in front of myself (and one too embarassing to name at that) in the hopes of really pushing it through. At this rate, I'll be done in april and EdMo is in marcfh, but...Ah well. Keep rolling, I guess.

and yes, it *has* been 8 days since I last cracked open Journey's End Bad me, bad.

*blows dust of much-negelcted Creative Writing LJ*

Well, the hiatus was fun while it lasted. I think Nano burned me out a little more than I'd anticipated *looks around, embarassed.* But now that the holidays are over and my life is back on schedule, my muse has returned and spends a good portion of her day screaming in my ear. Not about Journey's End of course, but we'll see if we can't bend her to my whim. She's already got me digging out old projects and plotting new.

I'd like to make this a creative writing journal in general - already I'm using it to store private plotbunnies and make quickly written scenes accessible - but I think I'm going to try and chronicle the writing process a little more. That and perhaps post excerpts from things I'm working on and whore myself out to potential editors. Ah, the glory.

And speaking of Glory...My unrealistic goal is to finish Journey's End by the end of January. More likely, it will happen sometime in Feb. but either way, I want to be good and ready for NaNoEdMo when it rolls around.

Also, I would like to have another short story ready to send to friends by May. So if anyone wants to participate in a short story exchange then...I'm actually not a bad editor, I swear...

But yes. Did another 500 words on JE last night, and I'd better get cracking if I want to match/exceed that tonight.

I think a thousand words a night is reasonable...I hope.

So Once upon a time, after I finished Nano, I swore up and down that I wasn't going to abandon Journey's End and set a goal for myself that I would finish it on the 10th. Today is the 11th, and not only have I written probably about 1,000 words since (still can't figure out the details of how my climax comes to be), I haven't touched it in over a week...d'oh.

This is bad. Especially since I have sworn up and down that I would not hook up my new printer until I had the story finished. I can probably blame Real Life (tm) since a lot has been going on, but this doesn't bode very well for my stick-to-it-ness. Maybe I should have "stuck" to short stories a while longer...I think the novel-writing kind of burned me out.

No matter...new goal is Dec 22nd, because that's when I make the trip home and would like to have something to show my friends...yet that's probably way too close to get a good edit in...sigh.

by the time this is over, I'm going to have to scrape that novel off me with a pancake flipper and stomp on it. Note to Self: My metaphors need work.

I am a winner

'nuff said.

Now, to bed. That slogan should really be "I'll sleep 'till December..."

Sigh, You know you're sad when you can't even drum up the enthusiasm to write the 48 words it takes to go from 452 to 500 words in your word count. Yay for a flagging Nano spirit, and so darn close to boot. mshathvri predicted that when I hit 40K I'd see the light at the end of the tunnel and just go for it. I hemmed and hawwed and said that 45K was more accurate, and now I'm at 46.5 (well, 45.452 to be technically correct) and with no desire to do even a lick more of writing tonight. So much for end-is-near pushes.

On the bright side, plot twist #2 seems a little easier to write than #1 did. No excerpt, because there's no way to provide one without giving something away.

And now, to bed. Perhaps I will finish on Thanksgiving for sport. WInner's certificate, you are well on your way, but I can wait.

And a mere 40K words into my novel, Henry and Glory have done the deed. Whoever said "When in doubt, write porn" was indeed a genius, for while terrible and cliched and silly, sex scenes are remarkably fast to write. Not that I speak for a *lot* of experience, but they are. Wrote about 1700 words in like an hour and a half - very good for me. That brings my word count for the day up to ~3500.

Total word Count: 43,536
Words To Go: 6,464

The end is in sight! Whoo!

Have an excerpt

( Sorry guys, it's PG-13 )

cross-posted to nanowrimo

Opened up my day planner today and found this little tidbit of wisdom enclosed in the inspirational bit -

November 24, 2004

"If you want your dreams to come true, don't sleep"
-Yiddish Proverb

Somehow, it just seemed appropriate.

Still at 37,801, but the night is young...

Nothing stops the Energizer author.

Today: 5,001 words
Overall: 37,802 words.

I'm *back* on track...13k words to go. And a month's worth of sleep.

( Can Glory and Henry come out to play? )

( The ABCs of Nanowrimo, from Mshathvri to me )

I love my friends

Current Word count: ~36,000

7,005 words in one day. God that was painful. Painful, but worth it. We'll see if I can't repeat the feat tomorrow.

Total word count: 32,801

I'm back on track. Mostly.

(actual posting time closer to 1AM)

Ironically, for the first time in my life I wished that airplane seats did not go back so far today. Why? because my sorry self was desperately racing the ticking word count clock today while traveling home from business in Florida, and my borrowed laptop hd such a tall screen I had to put it at th e oddest of angles to make it fit on the tray. Ah, the things we do for our Nano. I have world's worst crick in my neck. Wrote 3K words, and every one of them was harder than the last. I've gotten to that point where I know what needs to happen, but I always try to build up to it and end up chickening out, creating a multitude of repetative and pointless scenes. I need a refresher course in dramatic tension, I think.

Anyways, even my own sarcastic devices didn't work, but maybe I'll think of something tomorrow. or maybe I'll just stare some more and growl.

Current word count: 25, 796.

( Excerpt )

3,045 words today. mshathvri, you kicked my butt by a factor of 1.25. But my novel is moving forward, even if I'm to a stagnant spot where nothign happens and I have resorted to my own sarcastic suggestion for getting my characters together. I calculate that, in order to finish Nano on time, I need to write about 3,000 words a day. Which ain't gonna happen, but a girl can dream. Did manage it today, but by sheer willpower alone. And because I'd given up on writing well.

Total Word Count: 22,707

Still less than halfway, and with less than ten days to go...

Sigh...there's nothing like actually sitting down to write to let you know where exactly your outline is lacking. While I spent all this time coming up with an ingeneous and emotionally rewarding plot, I have a significant lack of character relationship development. And I can't write without an outline, I just can't. I can have an outline and deviate from it yeah Ok, but no outline=no direction. Dammit. I am truly pathetic among seat-of-the-pants writers. Developing relationships is hard.

I will not stall, I will not stall, I will not stall.

This endurance test is driving me nuts. But I refuse to use the avoidance tactic again, as it is only for use in emergencies. Where's bloomingflax when I need a five-minute sprint?

Word Count: 19,926 (<--wah!)

UPDATE: have passed the 20K mark (yay!) by about 100 words. Still stuck. But now, Words little automatic menu cropper has caught on to the fact that "Word count" is the only tool I use ('bout once every 40 words), and has trimmed my tools list accordingly. I find this extremely amusing, especially in light of the fact that this is not my normal computer). Back to not writing.

Or more accurately, a small collection. My Nano spirit is flailing badly (alas! at 19,000 words no less! So close to 20!), but I am determined to plug on. I have become extremely annoyed at myself for writing on other plotlines last night, because when my Loud and Obnoxious muse left, it became open season for all the muses of ancient plot ideas and stories to resurface. Damn. And I was hopoing to get a single novel out of this. Not more disjointed crap.

My story now has a huge meta angle, brought on by my own frustration at my bad writing habits. I'll have to take it all out when I'm done, and though it's kind of theraputic at the time it's annoying to remember the next day. Sigh.


( Read an excerpt from each of the past three days )

( Or, just skip ahead to the part where I got all annoyed with myself and my characters stared talking back. )

And I'm still trying to chase the Meta out - why, oh why did I indulge?

Free time in a hotel is very, very good. Sadly, my JE muse was on Hiatus today, but I had a lot of fun with nanowrimo anyways.

-ran and lost two five-minute sprints with bloomingflax, but got 400 words out of the deal
-spent far too long on the phone and ICQ, but managed 2,329 words anyways. Joy.
-Beat blomingflax's daily word count by 20, and she didn't work today. Of course, the day is still young and within 5 minutes of reading this that will probably be fixed.
-Am now officially guilty of story-padding. My Journey's End muse is currently blazing new trails without me, but her absence left the scene wide open for a muse from another story I've been working on to come out and play. 1000 of my words actually belong in a different story, but are told from one character to another as they cuddle in a dream. Why? Because my Dark Times muse would not leave me alone and was scaring away the neighbors with her outside voice. I think she's better now.
-The irony: my trashy romance now has its first sex scene, 15k words in, and it's not from the romance. it's from Dark Times, aka "the other story". So much for the trashy part.
-As predicted, the sex scene begins on page 30. But again, the main characters of my novel do not instigate it. It guest stars characters from another plot.
-Lost a friend and a very talented writer to the annals of REAL LIFE(tm) today. It may have been the right decision for her, but it's still sad :-) If you're reading this, you are missed.
-Total word count is 18,163. Still massively behind, but slowly making up ground. Wanting to break 20K very badly.
-I once said I'd be happy with 12,000 words. I lied. Going for the gold, 50K, because I am insane. And because my writerly ambitions will nto settle for less. Goodbye sleep, I have much ground to make up.
-Still waiting for a wireless kit to post my next story excerpt. Because now I have enough to do it.
-Going nuts, loving it, and really enjoying the support from other nanoers. *hugs*